Let’s talk about Angela. When she was a child is seemed that nothing she ever did was good enough for her parents. They never hesitated to correct her when she did something wrong; yet they never felt the need to commend her, no matter how hard she tried.
As you might guess Angela grew up with a self-esteem issues. Because of her low self esteem she never felt worthy of her parents love. As time went by she began to feel that she didn’t deserve to be loved by anyone.
Now, even though she is happily married, has two small children and a loving husband, she still feels insecure. Do you know anyone like Angela?
We all want to feel secure
Every limiting emotion that is not due to a chemical imbalance is due to feelings of insecurity. Very often, these feelings are founded on a sense of low self esteem and self worth. Sadly, Angela’s growing up situation is all to common these days.
It’s important to understand that the desire for security is the granddaddy of all human emotions. Every person on the planet has an inherent and insatiable desire to feel safe and secure. And efforts to fill this desire shape the actions of individuals and the course of world events.
Just as the Earth is in orbit around the sun, human behavior revolves around the need for emotional security. Wanting to feel safe and secure is closely tied to our sense of survival and this explains its position atop all other emotions. The healthier our sense of self esteem, the more secure we feel with our own identity.
Self esteem boils down to our beliefs
Our self esteem is based on our own beliefs about our worth as a person. If circumstances have led us to believe that we are worthless, we will have low self esteem. By modifying our belief systems and adjusting the signals they are sending to their nervous system, amazing transformations can occur.
I’m happy to say that Angelina has overcome her challenges. She now has a healthy sense of self esteem and is able to give herself the approval she was so desperately longing for. Learning a few simple coping skills had a big impact on the quality of her life. You see, Angelina figured out that the cost of coaching was insignificant compared to the pain created by her limiting beliefs. She got her life back and that is something you just can’t put a price on.
We are all damaged goods
We all react differently to the challenges that life throws at us, but none of us is immune. However, with the right coping skills in place, we can learn to view life in a way that shifts our perception in a very positive way. For some, creating this shift might seem almost impossible, but that too is just perception.
All of us has the ability to determine our own response to any sort of experience. In most cases, with the right skills, we really can choose the meaning of everything that happens to us and this gives us the ability to essentially create our own reality. Remember, self esteem is based on beliefs. When we change the beliefs, our sense of self changes to match the new belief.
How’s your sense of self esteem? What skills help you to cope with life’s challenges?
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